Ok… So here you go…

I absolutely abhor shopping… I mean I really hate it… There’s nothing more frustrating to me than shopping… and no it’s not something that has just recently happened because of having a child or slowing metabolism due to age…

I’ve never ever ever liked shopping… It is one thing that makes me feel completely out of my element and crazy…

I can remember my mom bribing me to go to the mall and then getting upset with me because I was ready to go home about 10 minutes into shopping…

When I was little nothing ever fit because I weighed about as much as a peacock feather and didn’t fit into stylish pre-teen clothes…

When I was older… size 2 was huge and size 0 was as tight as a hippo in a tight fitting extra small leotard…

Then it was I have a big ass and no tits… It was so bad that my now husband stopped buying me clothes… but not because I didn’t like his taste but because nothing he bought ever fit me…

and in between all that time… I thank God I have a stylish mother who always loved fashion and accessories who bought my clothes for me… Yes… I was and still am spoiled… Is that a bad thing? She had me try on clothes at home and then whatever didn’t fit or I didn’t like got returned… You guessed it I went on my merry way with my new clothes and Mami took everything back in her spare time… Gracias Mami…

So I still have a big ass, short legs, and a short torso… I mean I need petite sizes for my upper body and short length pants with regular size pelvis areas…

How the hell do people find stylish clothing that fits… I don’t have a straight boy body… I am definitely curvy on the bottom with thick legs…. However a very petite upper body with skinny itty bitty arms…

Let me just tell you today… I was at a very stylish store and I couldn’t find anything that fit… I tried on every style of jeans in all the sizes… I never found one that fit because half the time I couldn’t get the jeans passed my knee (since my thighs are as big as soccer player) and then when I would get the jeans passed my thighs I could fit my arm inside my jeans and touch my legs…

This is ridiculous… and no I don’t want to go to the mom style clothes… I want to continue to wear all the hip, modern, and designer styles within reason, of course… I mean I don’t want to look 20 years old, single, and still living la vida loca…

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