The more I think about it… the more it seems like something I would eventually want to pursue… writing, that is… It just seems exciting and easy in a sense…

I am still self conscious about my writing… I just want to be sure it’s good and worth doing… I also want it to become a means for financial stability for me and my family.

My hubbie is always saying that I am either on the computer or lost in a book… but right now that’s what I am enjoying… I can’t write something powerful without reading about it or researching or learning about it…

If I am going to write something, I want it to be amazing.  I want people to want to read it.  It’s probably best to narrow my writing to some specific subject… Well… I am just not there yet…

I am writing about speech and language development, therapy, disorders, etc… because that’s what I feel I know the most and well, I am confident about what I know…

But, at the same time, I am just not sure that’s exactly what I want to focus on for forever… you know what I mean?

I am working hard at this moment looking for my lost soul… I am trying to reconnect with my sense of self and who I am.  So I’ve been doing a lot of “new” things… like writing and taking online photography classes… all of which I enjoy…

I also think it would be fun to start acting… I could totally do that!   I could totally pretend to be someone else for awhile and truly believe it… It would be fun… don’t you think?  Interesting, too huh?

Sometimes, I think I could combine all these things… say write about my pictures… or act as if I was someone completely different… dress up and the whole bit and then, write about how my images changed the way people formed relationships with me and vice versa…take pictures of my new images and describe what I am feeling at the time through my writing…

It all sounds so awesome… but at the same time so threatening… I mean what if I screw up… Also, it almost seems as if it would be so hard to pull off…

I guess the only way to tell what I will be happy doing is by trial and error…

In the meantime, it looks as if I may have an opportunity in academia which should be a positive experience and will help me use my skills as a speech language pathologist in a new and creative way…. However,  it scares me that I may be bored with the idea within a few years…

You see in my mind… it would mean another mistake… Of course, I wouldn’t want to burn any bridges either… see…and that may have to happen if I get bored…

Boredom is my biggest issue… I’m know to be nomadic… forever changing… it’s just I need fresh and new… fun and creative… let’s try this for awhile…

I guess I am in search of the best of the best… ’cause I am always thinking maybe there’s something better, something more… or maybe I am missing something…

Where’s utopia????

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